Stay Safe, Stay Sparkly: Dating Tips for the UK Crowd
Meeting new people should feel exciting, not scary. Here’s how to enjoy the flirty bits and stay safe while you do it.
Before You Meet
Chat first, then video call before you meet in real Life (IRL).
A quick video call is the easiest way to check the person matches their profile — no catfish welcome at this crowd.
Keep the personal stuff personal, for now.
Save your address, workplace, and daily routine until you actually trust someone. A little mystery is part of the fun anyway.
Tell a mate the plan.
Share who you’re meeting, where, and when — screenshot their profile too. Old-school, but it works.
On the Date
Meet in public, first few times.
Coffee shop, bar, event — somewhere with people around. Save the “come to mine” for later.
Sort your own way there and back.
Drive yourself, get your own taxi, or arrange your own lift. Staying in control of your exit is half the confidence game.
Watch your drink.
Never leave it unattended, and if you ever feel your senses acting up too fast, tell a member of staff and ask for help immediately. Look out for the “Ask for Angela” scheme too — most UK bars and venues will know exactly what it means and quietly step in.
Trust the ick.
If something feels off, it probably is. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for leaving.
Know Your Rights: Clare’s Law
If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s “too much” to check someone out before things get serious — it’s not, and there’s actually a legal route to do it.
Clare’s Law (officially the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme) gives anyone in England and Wales the right to ask the police whether a partner or ex-partner has a history of violent or abusive behaviour. It applies to everyone, whatever your gender or relationship type.
You can apply if:
- You’re worried about a current or ex-partner
- You’re worried about someone else’s partner (a friend, family member, whoever)
The police will review it and, where there’s a real risk, arrange to share the relevant information with you directly and confidentially. It’s not a full background check, but it can be genuinely life-saving information.
How to apply:
- Online via your local police force’s website, or police.uk
- By calling 101 and asking for a DVDS/Clare’s Law application
- In person at your local police station
If in doubt — apply. It costs nothing, and it might tell you everything you need to know.
If Something Goes Wrong
You’re never overreacting by asking for help.
- 999 — emergency, if a crime’s in progress or someone’s in danger
- 101 — non-emergency police, to report something after the fact or ask for advice
- Victim Support — 0808 168 9111, free and confidential, whether or not you’ve reported to police
Reporting a Concern With a Match
This crowd is built on trust, and we take that seriously. If someone on Not Your Usual Crowd makes you uncomfortable, we want to know.
Please report if someone:
- Sends inappropriate messages or images
- Pressures you, guilt-trips you, or won’t take no for an answer
- Asks for money, gifts, or financial details
- Makes you feel unsafe in any way
How to report:
Use the report button on their profile or message thread, or contact us directly at [your report email/contact form link] with as much detail as you can — screenshots help.
What happens next:
We review every report and take appropriate action, which may include removing the member from the platform. If what’s happened is also a criminal matter — including harassment, indecent images, or threats — we’d encourage you to also report it to the police.
Abuse of any kind isn’t tolerated here. This is meant to be a safe space to find your crowd, and we intend to keep it that way.
The Golden Rule
Being yourself is the whole point of this crowd — just be yourself safely. The right person will never rush you, pressure you, or make you feel silly for taking precautions. If they do, that’s your answer.